Something's Gotta Give

Five days since I've posted?  Really?  What's my excuse this week, you ask?  Mommyhood.  Toddlers and boys and play time and games.

And projects.  Husband is leaving for a few weeks, and we've begun that mode where he wants to leave me in the best possible place, because being gone sucks.  And I want that too.

So he has a list and I have a list.  And we're working through it one by one.

Because when he goes, we switch from living life to surviving.  We prioritize.  Basic needs first:  safety, food, shelter.  Emotional needs next:  missing daddy, needing hugs and prayers.  You get the idea.

Day by day, hour by hour, we survive by the grace of God Alone.

It's ok, because it's not a permanent change.  I won't always have to drag all three kids to judo or to gymnastics or to the grocery store.  I won't always have to do homework and dinner and distract a toddler from pushing a chair over to the kitchen to climb on the counter, simultaneously.  By the grace of God Alone.

Some day we will get back to living life.  Long term projects will get done again.  Things will be clean and organized and chaos free again.  Some day we will move forward on our goals.  Some day.

But until that day, we might eat cereal for dinner.  Or suspend our emails, although sometimes that is my lifeline.  Or skip a night of reading *Gasp* in favor of cuddling.

I am thankful that survival mode is temporary for us.  I pray for families who have no end in sight for the suspension on living life.  Because survival mode is exhausting.  Living life gives energy; simply surviving drains it.

May we all have the opportunity to live life.  By the grace of God Alone.